What is the role of “rationality” in love?

A friend asked me whether I love rational love or emotional love more? If an over-rational person comes to seek my advice, I will persuade TA to be more sensible; otherwise, I will persuade TA to be rational. Rational love and emotional love, I think there is no need to discuss the merits of a good or bad. The key is to find a fit in reason and sensibility. Your own balance.

A lot of sensible people, when they talk about “sense of love,” will always be a bit contemptuous. They think that what is originally not a matter of rationality, but also a sense of reason. I think these people are a bit misunderstood about love of reason. The love of reason is not to say that love is placed on the scales, how much love the other person has given me, and how much I love the other person.

In love, I am a rational person. Don’t discuss true love first. Let’s discuss the love that makes people feel happy. Personally think that to obtain such love, a basic condition is that both sides of love, the degree of love is basically the same. If you are too unbalanced, the one who is loved less will not be too happy. Of course, there are people who do not care about these things, “I love you very much, even if you don’t love me, it doesn’t matter.” Only, I am certainly not the kind of person.

None a> Several articles, books, and famous quotes of love tell us that “I love someone, I hope TA is happy.” I don’t know if there are a few people who can do it. I can’t do it anyway. For me, if we love someone, we must make both of us happy. If only TA can be happy, and I can’t, there is no way. I’m sorry, my happiness is always the first, and I can’t put the happiness of others on my own happiness. I say this, surely some people say, LZ, you don’t understand love.

Maybe I don’t understand, and I don’t want to mess with love. I only know that life is too short. I don’t want to block myself, and I don’t want to block others. I just want to make my life happier. Admitting that he is an egoist in love and developing a corresponding self-interested program can make my love smoother and my life happier. Accurately speaking, it should be a program that benefits others and self-interest. If the other party is unhappy, my life will certainly be hard. The two people in love are either happy together or have a misfortune. Maybe someone else said that such love is “not pure,” and purity is not pure. Whenever I fall in love with someone, I can’t sleep with excitement. When I’m up in the middle of the night, I just pee, and I can’t help but sit on the toilet. Lehe half-day; walking in the street, even the passers-by will be a lot of cute, I just could not help but rush everyone stupid music … … why the life suddenly so beautiful? My heart is clear, not only because I fell in love with a person, but also because the other person loves me.

Because I am a selfish person, I have never tasted the pleasure of “Love someone, I wish to be happy”. For me, love is a two-way thing, and unilateral love is a waste of life. Unless this one-way love is really unrequited, even if it is rejected, despised and abandoned, one person can feel that life is full of glory and meaning simply because he is in love with another person. I believe this kind of love exists, but I also know that I don’t have such love DNA.

Pulled a bit farther, or come back to “smart”. I want to explain what role reason plays in my love. Very simple, its role is: to help me get what I want.

If I don’t feel that the other person loves me so much. I will not use “intellectual” to make myself less love him. Many people who advocate emotional love have such misunderstandings. They think that the meaning of rational love is: According to the degree of love of the other party, use reason to suppress feelings and restrain love. What’s wrong with it? Even if I want to do that, I don’t think I can do it. For me, reason is to feel sexual services, which The two are not hostile relations that call each other. If that is the case, they will only make their masters, that is, me. They are tangled up and have no feelings to understand what they should be happy about. Reason and sensibility are comrade-in-arms relationships. To help me live better, they help each other and fight side by side to help me find the path that suits me best. Reasonable love is as strong as sensuality.

Then, what will I do with “sense”? As I said before, both sides of love should have similar levels of love. Since I cannot and does not want to let myself love him a little, then I use “smart” to make him love me a little more.

When I want to give him the heart, reason will tell me that you will come out like this, others will not be sympathetic, and you have to find a way to make him want. So, when I wanted to call him in the middle of the night, when I wanted to rush to the door of his house in the early morning to tell him good morning, when I drank and bought a bunch of things I wanted to give him. When he received a phone call from a woman, I wanted to ask who it was… The intelligence helped me to stop it in time. In my own eyes, I feel that these are released for love, but in the eyes of others, I completely destroy my image.

Love is a process that slowly sublimates. When the flower of love is really in full bloom, I can do all these things, and he will be very moved and happy. But the flower of love is veryDelicately, you will be killed if you don’t pay attention. Reason tells me: Before he really fell in love with you, do those things that will make him love you more? Will he make him more interested in you?

The answer is no. Only people will think that I am a very hungry crazy lady. This is the reason why I prefer to love of reason. It helps me to jump out of my own perspective and examine myself from the other person’s point of view.

To me, rational suppression is not perceptual, no matter how I develop my rational side, how much I love someone in my heart, how much I love him. No matter how rational my approach is, I will not reduce my love for one’s feelings. This is not a change in the relationship between the two. Reason is what makes you annoying. If you do not suppress these things, people may not be able to see me in a good place, they will be scared away by these annoying things.

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I think the most important difference between sensual love and rational love is that sensual love focuses on how Let yourself give love to the greatest extent; and rational love focuses on how to get the other person to receive love to the greatest extent. Even if I can give a hundred percent of love, but people do not want to be a point, I do not know what it means. Suppose there is unselfish love that does not return, but if the love you give does not make the person you love more happier, what is the point? Maybe for some people, whether or not the other side wants to do it, it’s meaning to dedicate it. It’s just that I don’t understand this meaning, and I don’t want to experience it. I only know that no matter how much I love him, no matter how much I love him, no matter how good I am to him, even if I can give him all the good things in the world, not the Kids. If a person does not love me, it is not his fault. When love is not rewarded, the person who should not blame the most is the one we love. Obviously it is their willingness to give their hearts to others. If people do not want to, can this blame people? It’s not that you’re doing it yourself. I do not resist emotional love. The kind of “old mother is to give you my heart. Don’t give it back to me. I will not blame you.” Such a girl, I think they are very cute. With such free and easy atmosphere, emotional love is not a bad idea? What I resist is that those who donate their hearts to give up love end up blaming each other for not wanting to blame the other person as a bastard. Don’t forget that people didn’t let you give them at the beginning.

In the final analysis, I know exactly what I want. I want him to love me, love me, love me, love me! I want us both to be happy together. Love this thing, no matter how embarrassing, not as good as the two together. But I will not ask him to love me. I must let him love me willingly. So I have to put away my neuropathy face. Take out “Goddess”. And have to understand him, respect him, encourage him… give him what he really needs, love him in the way he wants, let him feel with me, comfortable and happy. At the same time, I will also experience the man’s feelings for me. He is not suitable for me. He can understand me, respect me and encourage me….

When we give our hearts to each other At the time, we all think: Wow, I’m so lucky! At that time, it was not too late to get nervous again.